Well, my friends, it’s March, and I’m sure we all agree that Old Man Winter has way, way overstayed his welcome.
I thought I’d be making espressos or waitressing somewhere and writing web content for a friend. Instead, I’m working in our office, and my current occupation doesn’t involve traveling to anywhere except the post office. (It’s like doing laundry: you sort through the junk mail, code and file and distribute amounts between cost centers, answer the phone, try not to dock anyone’s wages or shred anything important, empty the waste baskets and get everything tidied away for a little while, and then you start over again.)
I’ve always said that administration and accounting are not my thing.
So the joke is on me, as usual.
Anyway, I’m bored and I have a headache, and thinking of tea and travel makes me nostalgic, so I’m going to ramble about other countries and things that are none of my business.
I’m not a politician–just a farmer’s daughter. But Ireland and Israel are like strangers who keep crossing my path and bumping into each other, and I feel like they should be friends.
As an attaché to locals, my experience of both of these places has been more intimate than that of the average tourist; and when I hear the bagpipe or shofar, I hear some of my most endearing memories. Perhaps someday I’ll have a son and a daughter–one full of chutzpah, the other full of blarney–and perhaps their father will be willing to name them Israel and Ireland in honor of these unforgettable places.
I had the extreme privilege of spending Christmas 2014 in Ireland with my sister’s husband’s family. Dublin looked like a bloom of glowing plankton from the sky, the night we flew in. I woke up at three o’clock the first morning and didn’t know where I was until I tuned into an Irish radio station. Billy Joel was singing “Just The Way You Are,” and that song has had a special place in my heart ever since.
Jet lag and short, drizzly days conspired to make me feel slightly drugged. I was told that the sitting room window, facing the main street, was better than TV, and when ruby coals were tinkling like glass on the hearth it was a cozy place to nap. As soon as I had my bearings and some euros, I went next door to the tiny shop where the locals bought their bacon crisps and Weetabix. The owner was a soft-spoken, fifty-something bachelor who had never been out of the county. “Hello, Emily… How are ye this morning? … Oh grand, just grand… Try that loaf over there to the left, Emily. It’s a little fresher… So tell me, Emily, what do ye think of all this caper about global warming?”
(Madam Secretary actually doesn’t have an opinion about global warming.)
The rippling fields were dotted with sheep and divvied up like a patchwork quilt. Cottages were painted every color of the rainbow. Pubs were superabundant. The snaking roads had walls and hedges instead of shoulders, and with an Irish driver behind the wheel it was a lot like being on a roller coaster. Smoke from turf fires filled the winter air with a musty smell. Feet got clammy at night. Kitchen windows fogged up at teatime.
The teakettle was always piping hot, the tea was strong, and we drank gallons of it. I was the guest of honor, so I was always served first and offered the best seat. “The American sister-in-law” felt like a bit of a celebrity in Kilnaleck.
I downed my tea, listening to village gossip, smiling for no particular reason, nodding politely. There was a steady flow of visitors. Tea was poured, sweets were passed around, and later someone might open a bottle. Then the story-telling would begin, and once it began it was almost impossible to stop.
I came out of my shell in Ireland.
I poked around the mossy ruins of castles and abbeys. I got a tweed tie for my dad. I ate bangers n’ mash, fish n’ chips, and scones with jam and globs of clotted cream.
I broke out the black velvet and pearls for a wedding at an elegant hotel, and my two-year-old niece danced her little half-Irish heart out. The lake by the hotel was like a mirror it was so calm, and there were swans gliding through a pale pink mist, straight out of a fairytale.
I drank tea with my sister’s husband’s friend’s mother one day. She was the widow of a man who was involved with the IRA during The Troubles. I told her that Israel was next on my agenda, and she told me, to my surprise, that her mother had happened to live there during the British Mandate.
Three months later, I woke up in Jerusalem.
It was Passover 2015. I heard doves cooing, and church bells. I saw a patched bomb crater in the mosaic-patterned linoleum on my bedroom floor.
I knew where I was.
Scheherazade, my mother’s friend’s cousin’s wife, stuck her head in through the door. She was fluent in English, Arabic, and Hebrew and had a naughty sense of humor. “Emily?” she whispered sweetly, “Do you take sugar in your coffee? No? Good, because we don’t have any.”
Scheherazade brought me a mug of instant coffee, spiced with cardamom, and my sister called from the states to tell us that she was pregnant again.
I stretched the soreness of travel out of my body and relaxed even more deeply into the comfort of my bed. “God!” I sighed, “I’m going to die from happiness! Why are you so good to me?”
Jerusalem was exotic and intense. And yet it was familiar. I am used to arid climates and brown-skinned people.
Though I’m not used to city life, and though I felt like a baby, learning everything over and getting lost in the claustrophobic stone streets of the Old City, I was surprised by my calmness and lack of emotion. It was hard to believe that so many miraculous things had happened in that modern beehive full of busy, tired people. When I was hanging laundry on the roof or watching an impromptu game of soccer in the parking lot or listening to the chant of a dozen minarets echoing eerily through the valleys around Zion, it was hard to believe reports that thousands of Iranian missiles were aimed in our direction.
I had never felt so alive as we cruised across the Negev desert, past date palm plantations and Bedouins watering their camels at the random fuel station. The elevation in that area was far below sea level, so perhaps my energy could be attributed to a high density of oxygen (I’m not sure, but it was easy breathing anyway). Wild hollyhocks nodded their shining heads on the sunny hillsides of Samaria. Israeli farmers had already cut their first crop of hay, and the wheat fields already had the half-ripe patina color that I love.
We visited the Holocaust museum on my birthday, and it made me suddenly homesick, but my mother’s friend’s brother went out in the rain and rented My Fair Lady to cheer me up–which was “loverly” (as Eliza Doolittle would say).
Major Amir Tsarfati says that God designed Israel to stand alone, so the whole world will know that it’s Him when He defends them.
I believe it.
Actually, people who identify as ethnic Jews today only represent a few of the original twelve tribes of Israel who were led out of slavery in Egypt and back to the Promised Land by Moses in the Book of Exodus. The rest were scattered throughout the world and absorbed into other nations (“lost”) during the Assyrian and Babylonian exiles. This is what’s known as the Diaspora (“dispersion”).
Judaism is not what it was in biblical times, and Jews come in many different stripes. Not everything “Jewish” is biblical. The secular Jew is tough, intense, and slow to trust. He has the Midas touch. He likes to negotiate. He keeps his guns clean and eats salad for breakfast. The religious Jew inhabits a structured lifestyle in which absolutely nothing is meaningless. The bottle dance is a real thing (for all you fans of Fiddler On TheRoof). He pushes his black hat back in warm weather, unbuttons the collar of his white shirt, and leans against the street lamps, twirling his ringlets around his fingers.
I’m speaking as an outsider, of course, and being simplistic, but that was the general vibe.
Sabbath was a weekly phenomenon in Jerusalem. Every Friday, at dusk, the city’s normal business and din was replaced by a reverent hush. Work stopped for 24 hours while observant people stayed home with their families, and this peace was good for the non-observant as well. I appreciated it more than the history, the falafel, the street music, or anything else about Jerusalem. (I described my impressions of the city further in Beautiful Beulah, A Letter To The Man In Orange and Chief Cornerstone & The Thirteenth Apostle.)
There were a dozen people to a toilet at our house.
The room next to mine was rented by an old Jewish scholar named Aryeh. He was like a child in his sincerity and spoke English with a perfect British accent. He wanted to marry a blind woman who had been a medical guinea pig in Auschwitz, but her family disapproved of him because he believed that Jesus is the Messiah. He, along with some other scholars, happened to be convinced that Irish people belong to the lost tribes of Israel. He was so sure of this theory that he listened to Celtic music, drank Barry’s tea, and prayed for Ireland every day.
I’ll never forget the night when Aryeh and a mysterious friend were drinking tea under the lemon trees in the courtyard, talking military strategy and political science in plastic chairs and moth-eaten sweaters, with Temple Mount shining in the background… The air was laced with wisteria and barbecue and the sweet smoke from hookah pipes…
I happened across a postcard from Jerusalem, written over a decade ago with typical Irish flair by an unorthodox Irishman who says he has felt at times very strongly that he should have been a Jew “in the tortured, intellectual ghetto sense.”
I wonder if he knows that he might be a missing piece in the great puzzle of the Diaspora.